In family life feminine qualities and masculine qualities should evolve hand-in-hand. Only then will we experience fullness. That is the reason why some children raised by single mothers or fathers have problems. For the child’s mind and intellect to mature it should receive the supervision of both the mother and the father. The mother’s love and breast milk are important for the growth of the child’s heart. The love and disciplining of the father also help to develop the child’s intellect. In the same way, the wife’s good qualities should support the husband and vice versa. Otherwise it will be like trying to cross a river without a boat. Do they know how to swim? No, they don’t. It is difficult for such people to reach the other shore of life.
When Amma says ‘In family life both masculine qualities and feminine qualities are needed’ she means- at times, the father may scold the child and he can find solace in his mother. Likewise, when the mother scolds, the child finds solace in his father. This helps in building character. When one of the parents is tough, the other gives comfort to the child. Thus, the children are not so affected. And the scolding won’t remain as an inner burden.
Abroad, many Indian children ask, “will my parents stay together with me?” Even western kids shed tears over the same type of question. “I am sad that my parents are going to divorce.” “Amma! Please help them resolve their fight.” Divorce and marriage are common in the west. However, the children don’t have the inner strength to accept the separation of their parents. Even India is slowly becoming like the west. Amma feels sad when she sees this. The children cry, saying, “My dad is a drunkard, please help.” It seems some of the parents give birth to children just only to give tension to them. It is children who think about the future and feel sad. They get worried thinking, “Will my parents get divorced? Will dad come home drunk and fight with mom? Will mom leave me? or Will mom be abandoned? Mom doesn’t have anyone to support her. She need to get a job and care me as well. If they get separated, what will happen to dad?” Thus the children shed tears. Even at a tender age the children shed tears for their parents. Usually, it is parents who shed tears for the children and now the opposite is happening.
Many young children wonder, ‘Will my parents refine their behaviour? Will they get along?’ Unfortunately, this is the lesson that parents are giving to the present generation. The children who are born out for their pleasure are also made sad. So, parents need to be patient and tolerant for the sake of the children created by them. And this will be a new creation!! One can get educated and undergo practical training to find a job. But sadly people don’t undergo training about life. When the depth and dedication of our love decrease, our love is degraded to mere bodily attraction and lust. Without two there can be no creation. Love is the power that changes this notion of duality to the experience of oneness.
-from Amma’s Satsang