Eknath Graham O’Connor (USA)
“Amma has led me to question my own life. ‘What am I doing with myself from day to day?’ ‘Where is my life headed?’
‘Am I working towards any goal?’ ‘What purpose do my actions serve?'” —Eknath Graham O’Connor
An excerpt from Eknath’s Amritavarsham50 Youth Summit speech on Amma’s impact on has life.
“Over time, I felt I was developing a closer inner connection with Amma. However, the human condition kicked in and I began to doubt the relationship between Amma and me. How could I really know that I was Her son? I decided to put Amma to a test. Inside my own head I said to Amma: ‘Amma, if I am really Your son, then You must give me some sort of sign to show that You know what I am thinking.’ For the rest of that day I hoped to see the sign that I had prayed for; no such sign appeared, I sadly went up to Amma for darshan that night.
“Amma received me in Her usual loving fashion. She then started whispering in my ear, ‘My darling, darling, darling, darling son.’ I felt that She’d failed my test because that was the same thing that Amma always said in my ear. Just then, Amma pulled me back, glared deep into my eyes like they were movie screens displaying everything to Her that had ever passed through my mind. Finally, She burst out laughing, brought me close to Her once again and started practically yelling in my ear, ‘My Son, My Son, My Son!’ Tears began to flow from my eyes as I walked away, embarrassed that I had ever doubted Amma. Yet, I was overjoyed that Amma had given me my sign; I was Her son.
“That experience revealed the barriers my mind placed between Amma and me. Was I not always Amma’s child? Of course I am Amma’s child! We are all Amma’s children. Amma does not create any barriers.
“As Amma says: ‘Just as the innate nature of a river is to flow, it is Amma’s innate nature to love.’ Amma is the river. She is taking all of us like coarse rocks, polishing us with Her love and revealing our inner beauty.
“We all have the ability to love like this, but our minds create barriers that barricade the flow of love. Though I cannot say I am free of these mental barricades, Amma has still made such an immense difference in my life. When we see Amma, we see an embodiment of Truth; this Truth has led me to question my own life. ‘What am I doing with myself from day to day?’ ‘Where is my life headed?’ ‘Am I working towards any goal?’ ‘What purpose do my actions serve?’ Amma has inspired me to try to reach out in my local community, help those in need, and feel compassion for all people.”