More Than Just a Doll

Many devotees find that Amma responds to them in the same way they play with their dolls. One devotee, after having her Amma doll the first night on tour in Bombay, came and told me that all through the night she felt as if her Amma doll was telling her that she was cold -- so she kept covering her with a blanket. The next day in Pune, when Amma was starting a puja, Amma looked directly at her motioning to her that She was cold! Surprised, the devotee went and covered Amma with her wool shawl.

Devotees are not the only people attracted to the Amma dolls: Amma seems to give darshan through the dolls to people who might not otherwise come to see Amma. Once, while standing in line at an airport, one woman innocently asked my daughter if she could hold her doll. The moment she held her, the woman burst into tears. She couldn't understand until we explained a little about the kind of doll she was holding. Many conversations have turned toward spirituality because of Amma dolls. Devotees have stories of Amma dolls giving darshan to many people on buses and planes, from Catholic nuns to a full compartment on a train in India. The doll that gave darshan on the train to so many people looked just like Amma after one of Her long programs!

There is a children's story called "The Velveteen Rabbit" that tells how a toy becomes real. According to the story, "When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." The story goes on to explain that even if the toy becomes worn through so much love, "...it doesn't matter at all, because once you are real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." Many devotees feel that their Amma dolls embody Mother in a very real way, so they don't feel it's odd to carry around a doll even if it looks a little strange to others.

Once there was a devotee who felt he had no devotion or interest in Amma. Even after he had come to India, he had no desire to go for darshan. The devotee wrote a letter to Amma about his lack of devotion, and afterward said that he felt Amma totally ignored him and his letter. A little while later, his friend bought him an Amma doll and told him to go for darshan. That very day he went to Mother for darshan, although he felt somewhat awkward carrying a doll. Just before Amma gave him darshan, he asked Amma, one more time, to help him with his lack of devotion. Amma took the doll, placed it on his heart and said, "You have to open your child's heart." Immediately, he burst into tears. Then he sat behind Amma and cried for several hours. The man started to spend time with his doll, and the following week, during a lovely darshan, Amma told him, "Your child's heart is opening!"

It takes a long time to make an Amma doll -- one doll alone takes up to 2 or 3 days -- each doll is handmade and has a great deal of detail. We put some prasad material (used or blessed by Amma) inside each doll. The dolls wear wrist and ankle malas as well, as neckmalas from either Rudraksha beads or sandalwood. The doll wears a petticoat, a dress and a sari. The clothes are made from cloth blessed by Amma.

So... although it's not easy to fulfil the demand for Amma dolls, we have seen over and over again that the doll will come to the devotee when the time is right... just like Amma!

- by Mukti H.