“Suppose you have a weakness of getting angry easily. Now, what you should do is this: Once you become normal again, go and sit in the family shrine room if you have one, or sit in solitude; then regret and repent your own anger and sincerely pray to your beloved deity or to Mother Nature, seeking help to get rid of it. Try to make your own mind aware of the bad outcome of anger. When you are angry with someone, you lose all your mental balance. Your discriminative power completely stops functioning. You say whatever comes into your mind and you act accordingly. You may even utter crude words at your own wife or children, or your own father or mother. Once you lose your discrimination you may even kill someone. By acting and thinking with anger you lose a lot of good energy. Become aware of this great truth, that these negative feelings will only pave the way for your own destruction, and sincerely try to put forth effort to overcome them.”

~

“When you are in the midst of an upsetting situation, can you simply observe what is happening? Can you stop thinking that someone is insulting and abusing you? Can you forget that you are being treated unfairly and let go of the wish to do something about it? Don’t be abusive. Don’t react. Try to realise that the real problem is not what is happening, but how you are reacting to it. When you see that you are going to react negatively, at this point, pause. Stop talking. Say to your mind, ‘No, don’t say anything now. You will get a better opportunity to present the whole matter in a more effective way. But now you keep quiet for the time being.’ During this pause, try to think of something positive, something elevating, something sweet, something that you consider unforgettable. Try to recall a pleasant event or memory. Focus all your energies, all your thoughts on that. If you can do this, you won’t be bothered or angered by the ridiculous words and unbearable face of the other person.”

~

“In due course, when you have learned to overcome these mildly provoking situations, you can slowly begin to test your experiment in more trying and serious situations. As you continue to practice, you will see that you are changing. And eventually, you will see that you cannot react anymore, that you can only respond. You will experience much more peace and joy in your marriage and in your family life in general. The change in your attitude and the patience that you show will also create a positive change in others.”

~

“When your husband sees that you are not reacting anymore, when he realises that his anger and insults are no longer being accepted, that they are no longer affecting you, he will feel embarrassed. What happens when a warrior finds that his weapons are not powerful or effective anymore? He throws them away. Similarly, when your husband finds that his weapons, the words that he uses against you, are not hurting you anymore, he will give up and keep quiet. In addition, you will now be treating him with more love and care. This is a great gift.”

~

Chant Your Mantra

“When your mind is restless, try to chant your mantra. If you seek solace in anything else, all will be lost. If you don’t get peace of mind from one thing, you will look for something else. Failing that, you will again look for something else. You won’t experience any peace at all. No peace will be experienced in anything. Whereas, if you remember God and chant your mantra, you will quickly become very calm and peaceful. Your mind will have the power to face any situation.”

~

“Firmly fix the idea in your mind that only God is true and eternal. Chant your mantra while engaged in your work. Then there won’t be any need for a special time to remember God. Your mind will always be focused on Him.”

~

“The mind which is flying about in all directions should be gathered together. Then only will it become spiritually strong. The mind cannot be fixed on a single point in the beginning. It should be tuned by doing mantra japa continuously. All your attention should be only on that. Do you know what mantra japa can be compared to? In kindergarten we learn to write using a slate and to count using pearls. In this way the lessons will easily sink into the intellect. Similarly, we can get concentration through mantra japa. There are people who attained the goal merely by chanting a mantra. It is not always possible to meditate but mantra japa can be done irrespective of time or place.”

~

Vasanas (negative tendencies)

“Family life allows us to conquer our vasanas. Don’t drown in the vasanas; understand what they are and go beyond them. We will reach our goal only if we become completely detached from the vasanas. We feel satisfied after enjoying our fill of payasam, but a little later, we want twice as much. Once we understand the true nature of this yearning, the mind will not go after it. Would anyone touch the payasam if a lizard fell into it?”

~

“When the vasanas pull us towards them, the mind will resist if it knows that they are not the source of real joy, and that they will only bring us sorrow. But this knowledge has to be firmly planted in the mind and intellect. Don’t let your lives go to waste, children, by being slaves to your minds! Don’t barter away a priceless jewel for a piece of candy. Our minds will quiet down if we stop giving as much importance to sensory pleasures as we do now.”

~

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Category : Householders / Sadhana
hariom