How to live a family life

“A bird sits on the dry twig of a tree and eats a piece of fruit it has found somewhere. It knows that the twig may break at any moment; so it is very alert as it sits on the twig. You should understand that this world is like that. Everything may be lost at any moment. You should remember that, children. Be sure to hold on to the truth that only God is everlasting. Then there will be no reason for sorrow.”

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“They have to stand in fire without getting burnt — that is the life of a householder. Without shoes, they have to walk over thorns without getting wounded — shoes being freedom from worldly ties. The householders don’t have that freedom.”

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“Family life is not meant to take us away from God, but to bring us closer to Him. Use it for that purpose, children, without worrying unnecessarily.”

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“If sadhana (spiritual practices) is done regularly, the spiritual and worldly aspects of life can be maintained side by side, in perfect harmony. To achieve this, you have to perform your actions with the awareness that the goal of life is to attain liberation. This will save you.”

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“It is a great thing to be able to call out to God in the midst of all the family prarabdha (results of past karmas manifesting in this life). Many of Amma’s householder children meditate and do japa and archana regularly at home. Many of them have taken a vow that they will not eat or sleep before doing archana. Amma’s heart overflows with love when She thinks of them.”

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“Real gain is from the Self alone. Only enquiry into the Self is of eternal value, and that is what gives peace. We should know That as the true bliss. What happiness is there in worrying about the family? You should move forward considering everything as ordained by Him. If one does so, peace will be gained.”

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Spiritual practices for householders

“My children, slowly try to change your life. Out of 30 days in a month, at least spend two days for your spiritual development. Try to change your bad habits by gradually replacing them with good thoughts and actions. Every day before going to bed, recollect the day’s activities and try to discriminate between the good and bad. Repent on the bad thoughts and actions. Make a strong determination to abstain from them the following day. The next day, do the same. Before going to bed, make a comparative study of the actions which you did that day and the previous day and see the differences. Pray to the Lord to bestow enough mental strength to fight against the negative tendencies. Surrender everything at His feet. Have compassion for ailing humanity. Do charity for righteous purposes. Real charity or renunciation is giving up your dearest things. Actually, it is said that the mind should be offered to the Supreme. But the mind is immersed in money and other such worldly possessions. So offering money for righteous things is equal to offering our mind. Such actions will make your mind more and more expansive. Expansiveness is God. Let not your wealth be used only for fulfilling your desires and those of your family members. Let at least a small portion of it be used for the benefit of the world, which in turn will purify you.”

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“Householders should observe a vow of silence once a week. They should try to get up early in the morning. It is good if they have a regular routine. That will help them to discipline themselves. Until yesterday you were leading a life devoid of spiritual ideals. To get rid of the old habits and replace them with new ones, a regular timetable will be very helpful.”

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“If once a week is not practical, at least two days a month should be spent in an ashram atmosphere, immersed in japa and meditation and doing service. Remembering God is the real foundation of life. In due course we can free ourselves from all bonds, just as a snake sheds its skin; and merge in God.”

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“Any spare time you have after work should be spent reading spiritual books like the ‘Gita’ and the ‘Ramayana,’ or the biographies of the mahatmas (great souls), or collections of their teachings, instead of going to the movies or engaging in other forms of ordinary entertainment. Don’t waste any opportunity to participate in satsangs. Share with your friends the things you hear in satsangs, thus bringing mental peace to them as well. Observe brahmacharya (celibacy) at least two or three days a week. That is essential if you are to get the proper benefit from your sadhana (spiritual practices). There is not just one wife/husband — the eyes, nose, tongue, ears, and the skin are all our “wives/husbands.” We have to control our attachment to them also; then we can know the real essence within us.”

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“In the morning, chant the holy name for at least ten minutes after your bath. Meditate at least for a little while. Do the same in the evening.”

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“One cannot live without being active in some way, whether physically, mentally, or intellectually. Everyone is constantly engaged in some form of action; this is an unchangeable law of Nature. No one becomes pure and selfless overnight; it involves time and concentrated effort coupled with tremendous patience and love. Do your actions in the world, without forgetting that your final goal in life is to break out of all bondage and limitations. Always remember that you have a higher goal to attain. Simply do what needs to be done; but at the same time, don’t miss the opportunities you come across to perform unselfish actions. You will then gradually gain mental purity and devotion. As you proceed with diligence, you will attain more clarity of mind and a deeper understanding. This will finally lead you to the state of perfection, the state of Self-realization.”

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